I was watching an episode of Frasier the other day (sorry, I have too much time on my hands), and something about my previous post on the Adult Life came to mind while the show was on. The change from a gawky teenager to a mature adult was so unsuspecting that somewhere along the way I'd escaped from my cocoon without realizing I have wings. I mean I was happy in that quiet little corner I'd woven for myself, and who wants to leave that and venture out into the unknown, armed with a cheese sandwich and a knapsack? Its understandable for everyone at this stage to be a little apprehensive, not to mention angry at the fact that this change comes at the expense of so much lost along the way...those almost-reachable hopes, those unforgettable nights, and those lingering smiles.
So here I am adjusting to the so-called "Adult Life", missing home food and blinking back guy tears that threaten to moisten the eyes whenever there's one of those mushy movies on, or a forgotten moment reminisced, or just a call from a friend far far away. And at this point of time this woman comes on the show and begins to talk about being an adult, about having to take responsibility, about decisions to make, and paths to pave...and thats when it hit me, I hadnt missed my transition to adulthood...I was there.
Dont get me wrong, I miss the good old days as much as everyone else. I miss deadline skipping, I miss nights of lazing around, I miss being hungry all night because I forgot to eat, I miss blaming fate and luck for mistakes made, I miss crazy trips to wild places with strangers (both physically and metaphorically), I miss taking chances on the next exam or the next red light, I miss not thinking about tomorrow.
But that doesnt mean that life has gone bad...its just different, and you adjust to it, the same way you did when you were pulled out of the womb, when the woman you loved first broke your heart, when you had an accident and realized that you werent invincible. I've had my share of fun and frolic, of dances and demons, of the 70s and highs, and now its time to move on. Its always painful, but there's a realization on the other side that'll make you older, and wiser, and happier. The feeling of that first paycheck, the feeling of waking up early because you want to be on time for office, the idea of studying not cause you have to, but cause you want to, of working harder because you want to be something more than just a nameplate, of giving something your best and knowing that not even fate can waylay you, its exhilarating. I love knowing that I have only myself to answer to, it brings a whole new meaning to the word responsibility. And somehow, I want to make me proud.
And this may sound crazy, but I want to have a job I love. I want to have a car thats a pleasure to drive, and a bike for those romantic trips. I want to meet the imperfect woman and have the perfect relationship. I want to have irritating inlaws and loving children. I want to be there when my parents grow old and my brother gets married. I want to pray, love, and lose. I want to have more meaning in my life than just spontaneous plans, a deeper sense of direction than just planning tonight, a fulfillment thats more than just immediate. I want more.
I may have forsaken my cocoon, but I've realized that I have wings...and I want to fly.
So here I am adjusting to the so-called "Adult Life", missing home food and blinking back guy tears that threaten to moisten the eyes whenever there's one of those mushy movies on, or a forgotten moment reminisced, or just a call from a friend far far away. And at this point of time this woman comes on the show and begins to talk about being an adult, about having to take responsibility, about decisions to make, and paths to pave...and thats when it hit me, I hadnt missed my transition to adulthood...I was there.
Dont get me wrong, I miss the good old days as much as everyone else. I miss deadline skipping, I miss nights of lazing around, I miss being hungry all night because I forgot to eat, I miss blaming fate and luck for mistakes made, I miss crazy trips to wild places with strangers (both physically and metaphorically), I miss taking chances on the next exam or the next red light, I miss not thinking about tomorrow.
But that doesnt mean that life has gone bad...its just different, and you adjust to it, the same way you did when you were pulled out of the womb, when the woman you loved first broke your heart, when you had an accident and realized that you werent invincible. I've had my share of fun and frolic, of dances and demons, of the 70s and highs, and now its time to move on. Its always painful, but there's a realization on the other side that'll make you older, and wiser, and happier. The feeling of that first paycheck, the feeling of waking up early because you want to be on time for office, the idea of studying not cause you have to, but cause you want to, of working harder because you want to be something more than just a nameplate, of giving something your best and knowing that not even fate can waylay you, its exhilarating. I love knowing that I have only myself to answer to, it brings a whole new meaning to the word responsibility. And somehow, I want to make me proud.
And this may sound crazy, but I want to have a job I love. I want to have a car thats a pleasure to drive, and a bike for those romantic trips. I want to meet the imperfect woman and have the perfect relationship. I want to have irritating inlaws and loving children. I want to be there when my parents grow old and my brother gets married. I want to pray, love, and lose. I want to have more meaning in my life than just spontaneous plans, a deeper sense of direction than just planning tonight, a fulfillment thats more than just immediate. I want more.
I may have forsaken my cocoon, but I've realized that I have wings...and I want to fly.
2 comments:
Ok, this post, I actually liked! It was nice :) Actually struck a chord, coz I was thinking the same things...
Nice one dude...i will suggest you write a novel....:)
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