America...

Its been a little over a month or so here...and I must say the country is really good. The facilities here are outstanding, the quiet and peace here is something to die for, and the cleanliness creates a whole new awareness. People are kind and helpful and there is a professionalism that automatically makes you work harder. Places are uncrowded, the air is fresh, and life is good. I guess I cant complain about the life I'm living, cause everything and everyone here has been good to me, I've gotten pretty much all i could ask for and more, and the prospects of a better life loom large ahead...

But thats not really what I wanted or long for. Never really been a money freak (although I appreciate it enough), and I'm not the one to complain about living standards or want better ones. No, what I really long for is the smell of the earth after the fresh rains back in India, that you can never smell here. I long to walk out in the middle of the night and hear the traffic sounds, the sound of people around you, of protection. I long for the warm mornings waking up in my own bed and the smell of fresh food prepared by Mom's lovely hands. I long to roam the streets of Delhi and Pune and every other Indian city, where I feel familiar without a map, and where everyone is a friend. I long to drive bikes and cars when you cant go over 30kmph cause of the traffic, when trips are extended and all the more fun. I long for the electricity to go out sometime, when candles are lit and real conversations happen. I long to talk over broken net connections, when you realize the value of communication. I long to see Indians on TV, where you relate to everything they say, or atleast make fun of it. I long for the familiarity of my home, where you can step into the next room and know that you are welcome. I long to send smses for the price of a Pan Pasand (its bloody expensive here). I long to eat Papdi Chat and Bhel Puri from the thele and go buy a single cigarette from the tapris. I long to wake up at the same time with the rest of India.

But most of all, I long for the feeling that whenever I'm down or just having "one of those days", I can be with family and friends anytime, and they'll understand, and that I can always be there for them.

I long for India sometimes...

When Love and Life Collide...

Lately everyone I know has been going through a tough time romantically (that includes me off course). Been flung away from the life we know has been kind of rough on the relationship, and split ends and sparks are starting to erupt everywhere. Love lives are ending because of forced marriages, distances being too much, respective lives being so busy that there's no time left to work on the relationship, emotional changes occurring between people cause of the changed environment, and the list goes on.

But thats not really the worst part, we've all been through breakups before. What really is wrong is that everyone seems to have accepted this fate without question, picking up the broken pieces and moving on with their lives, no questions asked. And I'm taken back to the days in college when a relationship meant so much more than just a practical endeavor. When flirting and dating were not just an enjoyable experience, but a way of life. When crazy things were done to impress counterparts (my own including singing in public). When the guys would take trip to unknown places and not look at the sights, spending all their time instead smsing and calling their current "love interests". When every breakup meant a trip to the bar with the whole gang, and every new relationship forged meant the same thing, just that it was paid for. When nights were spent watching movies, listening to songs, and then calling the "other" hostel to tell them how movie scenes reminded them of the good times together. When the college would come alive at night with new and old couples alike, walking, chatting, making out...

I really dont know where those days have gone, or why we have chosen to be so "adult" about this. Why everyone is putting up the brave face while really being torn apart inside by the pain of the split-up. Why all the smiles are forced, when what you really want to do is call and say "I Love You". During the day why we slog to forget the past, when each night is spent tossing, turning, and crying about it. Why everyone is so quiet lately, listening to old songs, going back to the old haunts (atleast when we sleep), just thinking of the good times and wishing that time would rewind, if only for a few hours. Why everyone has accepted life for the way it is, not choosing to fight it with the zeal that we had just a few months back.

Dont grow up so much that you forget who you really are and what you really want. Dont confuse goals with dreams and practicality with love. For once in your life make the decision that you want, not the one that is required.

Dont give up so soon guys...and dont lose that one thing that matters...

Dont Cry...

How many times has life been too hard on you? How many times have you sat down with your head in your hands and your burdens on your shoulders, waiting for that single tear to drop and tell you that its all become too much for you? How many times have you been lost in love, at work, in friendship, with family, on the road or while simply trying to live your life the way you want to?

Where along the way did we lose the best things that we had? Where along the way did we replace realities for memories and dreams for goals? Where along the way did we become so defensive so as to not let anyone into our lives, for fear of one bad experience? Where along the way did we leave everything behind and wake up one day, just wrapped up in a thin blanket of loneliness...

For all you people out there who feel this at one time or another, and i know that most of you do, I dont have words of comfort, or solutions to problems. I'm just a simple man trying to lead a simple life. I dont have answers to anything, not even to things I've seen. Life is still as much a blur as it was. So all I can say to you is, and I really hope this helps...

Dont Cry...